S ometimes amends cannot be made to one’s face. Whether because of legal restrictions, courtesy to the person, or compassion toward others, amends sometimes should not be made directly to one’s face. This is not up to me to tell you where and when to make amends. I have had a hard time dealing with the concept of “living amends,” and would like to share my thoughts as well as hear others’.
For me, living amends are a daily process. For some things, there may be direct actions I may take. For example, the way I treated my family was horrendous. Today, I make amends by being there for them when they need me. I have a relationship with them, and practice coming from a place of love when I am frustrated.
For other amends, I must simply live in a positive way. There are some things that I can never fix, but I can only move forward. I practice living in a way for myself that will ensure I do not act in those ways again.
Making amends is for me as well as for the other person. When I am living right and acting right, I am able to look back at my behavior and feel alright about it. I do not regret the past today nor wish to shut the door on it. When I am living in a healthy way, and look back at my actions, I am driven to excel even more. Making amends builds esteem, and helps me bring out my true nature.
The Ninth Step Promises have and still are coming true every day for me. Through practicing the Eightfold Path, I find daily amends to come naturally. The esteem I have gained is not quantifiable. I am infinitely more happy living a daily amends, and although I have harmed people in my past, I know I can be forgiven. I trust that my higher power forgives me, and I need to practice forgiving myself. If I do not practice the twelve steps and the Eightfold Path in all my affairs, I cannot forgive myself. When I do, forgiveness is a direct result.