G reat post! Thanks for the heads up that this was here; I am glad I read it! I really like the focus on the word “powerless”, as you discussed in the post a little while ago. I think that powerlessness is an interesting word. I do not necessarily agree with its true meaning, but do understand the idea behind it.
To me, it is not so much that I am powerless, as I do only have control over one thing: myself. I think the idea that I am powerless and it is all powerful is an extremist point of view. The view for me is that I did engage in alcoholic behavior, and an alcoholic lifestyle.
Today, I have control over myself to not take the first drink, pill, line, etc. I cannot control how they effect me. I cannot control my exposure to such substances all the time. I can only control myself. In a sense, declaring myself powerless takes away all responsibility, and places it outside myself.
This post has been a bit of a ramble, but I do have a central thesis and it is this: It is not so much that I am powerless and alcohol is all powerful, but that I can only control myself. My “disease”(dis-ease) is not separate from me. It is me. I can water that seed or not, but it is my choice.
I must have faith that I can change, and live the third step. I turn my will and life over to something other than my poor behavior. I live in acceptance of the fact that I do not know what happens when I ingest substances, and that living without them is better for me. I must accept that I cannot control things other than myself, and that the world is not at my command.