The Vicious Battle

I t was brought to my attention once again that Fear is one side of the coin while Faith is the other. I was encouraged by a mentor to look at a few things regarding my faith and fear.  My direction came in several steps, and I have found them to be super helpful, so I thought I would share my experience in hopes that it would help someone out there!

Analyzing my Fears

The first thing that was recommended to me was to make a list of my fears.  As we do in the Fourth Step, I took a complete inventory of my fears.  I made a completely exhaustive list of all my fears.  I included absolutely everything, from emotional and spiritual fears, to concrete fears such as heights or spiders.

While making the list and upon completion, I found that many of my daily actions were based on fear.  For example, I often work hard for fear of not making a deadline.  I go to meetings in fear of not staying sober.  Some fear can be helpful such as these, but fear is not a healthy motivator always.

My fear of being alone drives me to talk to people at meetings, rather than just being interested.  Fear has a way of running riot in my life.  Of course, Faith is the other side of the coin, and is the antidote to my fear.  The list took me about a week to complete, and I read it to my mentor upon completion.  Then I moved onto the next step.

Praying for Relief

After I had produced my list of fears and read it to my mentor, I was instructed to write my own prayer.  I wrote a prayer that covered as many fears as it could, while remaining short enough to actually say.  I grouped my fears into general groups such as fear of self, fear of disappointing, and fear of being less than I want to be.  Every day, I pray for my Higher Power to remove these fears from me.  I pray that these fears can be removed from me in order to increase my usefulness to my fellows, and to allow me to be able to transmit a positive energy.

Practicing Gratitude

As I have said in other posts, I believe that gratitude is not a feeling nor a thought, but a behavior.  Behavior is made up of constant action, and gratitude falls into this category in my opinion.  When I am in gratitude, not only do I feel grateful or think more positive thoughts, I am an embodiment of gratitude.

Similar to other parts of the Twelve-Step program, I must act my way into right thinking and feeling.  I act with gratitude, and the thoughts, feelings, and “being” of gratitude come.  Acting with gratitude can come in many forms for me, but generally include being the best person I can be, and being of service to myself and others.

In Buddhism, Right Thought and Right Action are discussed.  In my experience, I must be practicing Right View and Right Thinking in order for my actions to truly be right.

Be With God

My final instructions were to be with God on a constant basis.  I practice acting as if God is sitting directly next to me at all times.  I literally pull up a chair when I am working so I remember to be with my higher power.  This has helped me in numerous ways…..which will be discussed in my next post!!!!

Tags: 4th step, faith, fear, fourth step, god, gratitude, higher power, prayer, step four