I t was brought to my attention once again that Fear is one side of the coin while Faith is the other. I was encouraged by a mentor to look at a few things regarding my faith and fear. My direction came in several steps, and I have found them to be super helpful, so I thought I would share my experience in hopes that it would help someone out there!
Analyzing my Fears
The first thing that was recommended to me was to make a list of my fears. As we do in the Fourth Step, I took a complete inventory of my fears. I made a completely exhaustive list of all my fears. I included absolutely everything, from emotional and spiritual fears, to concrete fears such as heights or spiders.
While making the list and upon completion, I found that many of my daily actions were based on fear. For example, I often work hard for fear of not making a deadline. I go to meetings in fear of not staying sober. Some fear can be helpful such as these, but fear is not a healthy motivator always.
My fear of being alone drives me to talk to people at meetings, rather than just being interested. Fear has a way of running riot in my life. Of course, Faith is the other side of the coin, and is the antidote to my fear. The list took me about a week to complete, and I read it to my mentor upon completion. Then I moved onto the next step.
Praying for Relief
After I had produced my list of fears and read it to my mentor, I was instructed to write my own prayer. I wrote a prayer that covered as many fears as it could, while remaining short enough to actually say. I grouped my fears into general groups such as fear of self, fear of disappointing, and fear of being less than I want to be. Every day, I pray for my Higher Power to remove these fears from me. I pray that these fears can be removed from me in order to increase my usefulness to my fellows, and to allow me to be able to transmit a positive energy.
As I have said in other posts, I believe that gratitude is not a feeling nor a thought, but a behavior. Behavior is made up of constant action, and gratitude falls into this category in my opinion. When I am in gratitude, not only do I feel grateful or think more positive thoughts, I am an embodiment of gratitude.
Similar to other parts of the Twelve-Step program, I must act my way into right thinking and feeling. I act with gratitude, and the thoughts, feelings, and “being” of gratitude come. Acting with gratitude can come in many forms for me, but generally include being the best person I can be, and being of service to myself and others.
In Buddhism, Right Thought and Right Action are discussed. In my experience, I must be practicing Right View and Right Thinking in order for my actions to truly be right.
Be With God
My final instructions were to be with God on a constant basis. I practice acting as if God is sitting directly next to me at all times. I literally pull up a chair when I am working so I remember to be with my higher power. This has helped me in numerous ways…..which will be discussed in my next post!!!!